Find Spiritual Growth with Us (12)

Complete Forgiveness

“But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:15).

A sister in Christ once told me that she couldn’t forget the hurt and pain her mother-in-law had caused her. She knew God commands us to forgive, and she tried to follow the Lord’s instruction to forgive her mother-in-law, but it was only “superficial” because the scars in her heart were still vivid. Seeing her in such pain and struggle, I could empathize with her situation because I too had experienced the inability to forgive others, and our conversation reminded me of my own past mistakes.

Years ago, I could not accept some relatives’ behavior and words, and they often hurt me, unintentionally or not; especially when I was in the hospital.   Every time I heard their words, I felt immense pain, even the other patients and nurses could not stand it. Therefore, whenever they appeared, I would become so emotionally upset that I couldn’t speak, and it even caused my physical condition to worsen rapidly. Then, the doctors had to keep increasing my medication, but too much medication could overload my heart.

Finally, one time they said many unbearable things in front of me again. Previously, I always used endurance and silence to avoid direct conflict with them, but this time I couldn’t take it anymore, and suddenly my uterus contracted too violently, and I was rushed to the emergency room. The doctor was very kind, constantly encouraging me by my side, telling me not to worry about the baby’s safety, to relax…

At that moment, I angrily told God: “Can you please make them stop being so presumptuous?” I was so angry that I wanted them to leave. But my physical condition had deteriorated to the point where I couldn’t speak, and I was also arguing with God, saying, “I’ve decided I won’t forgive them anymore. Regardless of whether Lord Jesus is pleased, I don’t want to humble myself for Jesus anymore.” After making this decision, my physical condition worsened rapidly, and I even had difficulty breathing on my own; the uterine contractions were too fast, and the doctors tried many methods to save me. At that time, I was just venting my long-standing grievances to God, even questioning Him: “God, where is Your justice? Everyone can see their evil, so why do you keep letting me be bullied?” My anger was very high, and I even felt it would be okay if Lord Jesus let me die.

Just then, I started to feel that my body couldn’t take it anymore, especially the feeling of not being able to breathe, which made me very painful and scared. So, I reluctantly told God: “Alright! I’ll listen to You, I’m willing to forgive them. But I still can’t genuinely forgive them from my heart; God, You wouldn’t like this superficial and insincere forgiveness, right? If You want me to forgive them, then please teach me how to truly forgive these people from the heart.” After I spoke to God in this way, I felt like I could see all those who loved me—my friends and church fellows. Instantly, I felt very fortunate. God loves me so much; I am so humble, but I can have so many people who truly love me, acting as little angels in my life. My heart was surrounded by God’s love, very moved and thankful.

Suddenly, I felt like I turned my head, and then I saw those people I didn’t want to forgive, and at that moment, I actually felt they were so pitiful! Then it seemed like a voice came from the bottom of my heart: “I have given you so much love, can’t you forgive them for the love I have given you?” At that time, still immersed in God’s love, I immediately answered God, “Yes! Yes!” At that moment, I had no anger at all, just feeling that God loves me so much, their harm to me really doesn’t need to be taken to heart. More amazingly, when I answered God, “Yes! I can forgive them,” my physical condition suddenly returned to normal, I could remove the oxygen mask and breathe on my own, and the uterine contractions also stopped… But the doctors still observed me for about thirty minutes before transferring me back to a regular room, and I finally got out of danger safely. In this experience, I personally felt God’s love and His mercy and teaching, also seeing my own weakness and unworthiness. More thankful to God for helping me overcome my impulse, I could learn to forgive others with “God’s love” and not keep track of others’ faults.

Lord Jesus repeatedly commands us to forgive others, otherwise, He will not forgive our offenses; that is to say, if we harbor hatred in our hearts towards others, we will not enter the kingdom of heaven. To be able to enter the kingdom of heaven, the lesson of forgiveness is something we all must learn, but with our flesh, we are weak, how can we learn this lesson of forgiveness? I think we can only rely on constant prayer, asking for God’s Spirit, the truth to fill our hearts; when our hearts are filled with God’s love, this lesson of forgiveness should not be difficult to learn.

“Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.” (2 Corinthians 5:20)

Now we are the ambassadors for Christ. And before we preach to other people the teachings of reconciliation with God. We need to reconcile with each other.

Come and learn more about Him through bible study, sermons and fellowship. We warmly welcome you to our upcoming Fall Evangelical Service and Spiritual Convocation. You can also join us for the Fall ESSC via online streaming.  Here’s the ESSC schedule:

Thursday, September 26,2024 6:50PM to 8:10PM
Friday and Saturday, September 27-28, 2024 9:00AM to 8:10PM
Sunday, September 29, 2024 9:00AM to 1:00PM

Complimentary lunch and dinner will be served.

Please find our church location below:

4N550 Church Road
Bensenville, IL 60106
 Google Maps

In the meantime, please feel free to join us for our regular Sabbath (Friday evening and Saturday) services online or in-person.

Friday Evening Service:  7:50PM – 9:00PM

Saturday Morning Service:  10:50AM – 12:00Noon

Saturday Afternoon Service:  1:30PM – 2:40PM

Email us at ilovejesus@tjc-chicago.org