My Challenges with Depreesion

My life was once flourishing in all aspects, but then I unexpectedly fell into a profound depression, feeling as if a black void engulfed my heart. Waking up was a struggle, living felt like a meaningless cycle, and I thought death would be preferable. I became oddly sensitive to dark spirits and believed them to be surrounding me and trying to invade my heart.

As a church sister, I was ashamed to share my struggle. I felt that despite having the Holy Spirit within me, there was only darkness. The terrifying part was the absence of God’s presence. People’s advice to pray or repent did little to help. I felt lost and helpless amidst an abyss of darkness.

Yet, my belief in God remained strong. Remembering my experiences with Him, I held onto the hope that God was aware of my suffering and would rescue me when the time was right. Praying, reading the Bible, and serving God became my lifeboats, and faith was my anchor, keeping me steady through nine months of despair. I held onto Psalms 42:5 and 27:13–14 as anchors of hope.

One day, I noticed the darkness receding and my normal self-returning. I discovered an article about depression and realized that this was what I had been battling against. But it was God who pulled me out of it, not medication.

Post-recovery, I found several of my students suffering from depression too. My own experience enabled me to support them, assuring them of God’s help. I learned that it’s difficult for healthy individuals to empathize fully with the depressed, as it’s an internal battle with no apparent cause. Through this experience, I’ve come to realize that God uses our suffering to teach us and prepare us to help others in similar situations.

A few years later, I went through another challenging phase, where a prayer led me to recognize my hidden pride. I asked God to teach me humility, which He did through illness and work-related obstacles. So, in the darkest moments of our lives, remember to hold onto faith, embrace the lessons learned, and keep in mind that we’re being prepared to offer comfort to others.

My journey has taught me that God comforts us in our tribulation, as mentioned in 2 Corinthians 1:3–4, so that we may comfort those in trouble. My trials weren’t pointless, they were tests of faith and ways for God to prepare me to help others. This has brought me hope and purpose in my darkest times.

If you are touched by this testimony and want to find out more about Jesus, please visit our website for our worship service hours and church address.  We look forward to seeing you soon! 

Our church location:

4N550 Church Road
Bensenville, IL 60106
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Email us at ilovejesus@tjc-chicago.org