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Be aware! An angry dinosaur is around!
This happened when my daughter was still in elementary school.
On our living room couch, a girl was absorbed in comic books, occasionally letting out laughs. After an hour, I told her to put the comic down and move around a bit, but she didn’t respond. Two hours later, the scene hadn’t changed. Frustration got the better of me, and I exploded, “The exams are coming, why aren’t you studying? All you do is read comics; you never listen!” (Why do we even have comics at home?) Suddenly, the room fell silent. She looked at me, got up quietly from the couch, and went to her room, shutting the door behind her.
Days later, the same scene replayed. She was comfortably lying on the couch with her comic. Again, I lost my temper: “You only care about comics; your room is a mess like a pigsty, clean it up now!” This cycle repeated until, out of anger, I sold many of the comics—comics that had been her collection since her youth.
One day, as I began to scold her again, stuttering seized me mid-sentence right after I asked, “Do you need a spanking?” It left me confused and embarrassed. Why was this happening? Each time I tried to scold her afterward, I’d stutter again, making me wonder if I really should be yelling at my own child.
Whenever I thought my daughter was at fault and testing my limits, my instinct was to correct her angrily. This started driving a wedge between us, and she began to avoid conversations. Talking with other mothers at church, I found that many faced similar conflicts. Our stubbornness led to harsh words that damaged our relationships. Reflecting calmly later, what kind of mom did I appear to be when I was angry? Probably like a fierce, fire-breathing dinosaur!
Proverbs states it’s better to live alone than with a quarrelsome wife, showing the stress and annoyance it brings. In heated moments, we often say things we regret, words that are sharp and cutting. Especially using phrases like “deserve a spanking” was becoming too harsh.
I couldn’t continue this way! I began praying for God to steady my heart so I wouldn’t react solely based on my daughter’s actions. I worked on controlling my emotions and understanding my daughter’s personality to avoid further conflicts. Even when dealing with my own child, I remembered Paul’s advice: “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.” (Colossians 4:6). I tried to speak words of comfort and encouragement.
I eased up on my academic expectations, allowing my daughter to develop at her own pace and reminding her gently of her duties. We discussed issues kindly, teaching her to walk the right path. Good actions had rewards; failures were to be owned by her. Living a godly life and being responsible for my actions, I altered my parenting approach and entrusted my daughter to Jesus. Regular church attendance and never missing RE class helped her build a closer relationship with God, which proved more effective than my constant nagging. As I stopped being quick to anger, our home became quieter and more peaceful. In short, I changed to a new attitude, living in love for Christ for a higher purpose. “And He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.” 2 Corinthians 5:15
Adopting a calm and sometimes humorous communication style, I created a supportive environment for my daughter, where she felt accepted and encouraged, boosting her confidence and stabilizing her emotional development. This positive influence followed her through her so-called rebellious teenage years. She managed her responsibilities well, even returning to church for RE class right after exams. Now a teacher, she often discusses classroom issues and future plans with me, including the importance of marrying within the faith.
I thank God for putting the brakes on my early struggles with anger management, transforming me from a frequently angry dinosaur into a sheep that my daughter is happy to be around. This became my spiritual growth, that made me know, how to serve God, in the mother role.
We warmly invite you to come to the Chicago True Jesus Church’s Fall Evangelical Service and Spiritual Convocation in September. We will be learning about how serve God in our own roles.
Thursday, September 26,2024 6:50PM to 8:10PM
Friday and Saturday, September 27-28, 2024 9:00AM to 8:10PM
Sunday, September 29, 2024 9:00AM to 1:00PM
Complimentary lunch and dinner will be served.
Please find our church location below:
True Jesus Church
4N550 Church Road
Bensenville, IL 60106
Google Maps
In the meantime, please feel free to join us for our regular Sabbath (Friday evening and Saturday) services online or in-person.
Friday Evening Service: 7:50PM – 9:00PM
Saturday Morning Service: 10:50AM – 12:00Noon
Saturday Afternoon Service: 1:30PM – 2:40PM
Email us at ilovejesus@tjc-chicago.org